A very interesting documentary by the BBC about stand up comedy.
Transcript
It’s at the rule of three: I don’t know what that is, it should be established, reaffirm and then you kill it on the third, but you can do on the fourth. He was tall, he was handsome, he was an idiot, he was tall, he was handsome.
He was splendid, he was an idiot, he was told his hands explained that he could play football. He was an idiot, you can, you can go to file, I think you could it to see. You know Arthur wild people might get Bored, but you can keep reaffirming before you twist.
I am lord raider. Everyone challenges me to a fight the death. Lord Vader Darth Vader, I’m Darth Vader, Lord whatsa, lord Vader, slow, Darth, Vader louder.
So Lord Lord leader of team, slowed bound on van ham, the Death Star, I’ve run the Death Star. What’s the Death Star, this is the Death Star you’re in the Death Star. I run this star.
This is the star. This is a [ __ ] star. I run it, I’m your boss, you’re mr.
Stevens, no I’m Boys. Mr. sim he’s head of catering, I’m not head of catering.
I am Vader. I can kill catering with a thought wha. I can kill you all.
I can kill me with a thought. Just [ __ ] I’ll get a trade okay. My theory was like a scientific theory.
You have a theory, then see if you can prove it. Humor is human. It’s not national! There is no friend sense of humor, there’s no British sense of humor.
Now American sets human, the Australian sense of human, though indian sense of Humor you can quite easily be proven. Is the British as a human is a Python or is it Jim Davidson? You tell me well exactly so. It can’t be there’s obviously a few different senses of humor in there and I’m putting my money where my mouth is doing gigs in French.
It all leads round two. I thought I should do it in French. I should do it in German, which I did at school.
I want to do Russian Arabic because I was born in an abbot country. Spanish mandarins run of the end of the List identified, get to all of them by hopefully Eddie’s and wasn’t merely a for [ __ ] sake. But I can see why the French would like the show Nia, because there it is.
If there’s a lot of philosophy in your in your yeah, what you do it’s a humanist yeah. You know jdc d. k.
o. c desi, dear pat, did you see visitor collision juicy and desolate me in de paula paulson apology to cope? Do sir? Ah, petite Kissinger s Katrina, no to a beat on the [ __ ] response IEC become El Chapo’s can see Leandra even for one of wat probe our family. She do have on vocals.
I see what imagine is it joyfully? Yes, my job the best way. So you were on the street before you were in the club yeah five years on the street, which is five years here for a half five years. That gives me that gives me a huge edge hey.
I thought it looked pretty easy. It looked wonderful! You stand on the street, you do stuff, everyone laughs and, lastly, gives You care. If you stay back, there were gon na, do so right very hard to hold their attention because they can do anything else, there’s no walls, they didn’t pay their.
I got to pay at the end if they pay, and so you have to do stuff say we’re gon na kill this kid, and then they laugh the idea of killing the kid is like Tom and Jerry: you can, you can threaten massive violence and they just Laughed their socks off. It’s the really it’s an odd thing. I ended up getting up On a huge unicycle and trying to escape from pair of manacles, and a huge in a psycho name is Eddie years old.
It’s rather strange, though it’s got. Two sides of it are you ready, I certainly have old chap. Are you staying almost build up visit? Ok, I’ve been in the comedy clubs and they stand.
Ups were revered and speciality acts like us were treated like. Are you just the idiot who’s coming on in between the people? With the words I just Thought, I’ve got to be on that side of the fam laughs, move out the sex lever tears on board with safety magazine to sex magazine the sex pharmacy magazine sex magazine is X, pharmacy pharmacy, but it’s an impasse on yeah I am, And sex toy visibility, sex toy, a messy room, XO messy a little nerve pharmacy mm neck celica said it meant they been jealous at all. Ellie’s texture intentions before it is imagined, as shown where, upon DeLillo a bucher same la koo, koo, kachoo yen’s as Well.
I want this shorter talker vodka. I kill meeeee, I Kondos jonker efficient. Yes, sir, come back current later, you really do believe that comedy is universally, that we can find a way of communicating with everyone.
I’m really trying to formulate my philosophy on life. My attitude towards, like so melting pot great, I think, that’s a positive ID. I think that’s the future for us.
I think Europe should be a massive man. I think The world should be a massive Manhattan. The idea of everyone working together different languages, different skills, and I think it should touch get through the progressive audiences around the world they’re out there and I can go and find them.
Can I tell you guys joke I thought you don’t stir day, sir. These are good, jokes, jokes. Today, miss America invented start yeah, it’s sound of a jazz with the other two great American art forms of the 20th century Name, that’s it stares.
I tell you guys jokes today, all right American is the mother tongue of stand-up comedy. For me, you know, for my my favorite favorite comedians are what I were off from the American tradition. I’ll do two jokes for fifty cents: okay, 25 century one joke for 25 says how about twelve sons? Okay, I won’t tell you any jokes with 12 sucks, but you can give it tell me a joke.
The drawers, yeah okay office workers are always doing stand-up bits at their Christmas parties. It’s very much part of their that their their cultural upbringing. I tell you jokes today: miss ya come on over.
Did you see the royal couple’s gon na visit a rodeo when they come to the US yeah? They don’t care about the show they just never seen poor people in real life. Yeah, it’s not a collaborative art. It’s very individualistic, and I think that’s also why it’s a very popular American form is that the writer and the performer are The same person and there’s no interference.
It’s all yours and you stand. Do you fall on it? Sort of has a little bit of that cowboy spirit in it too. The advantage of new york city is that there’s a lot of opportunity for stage time and no comedian can become a comedian without access to those precious minutes on stage the comedians that come out of New York there’s a style for sure got ta deliver.
You know You can’t you can’t mess around too much here. It’s always innovative. It’s always moving forward.
It’s a little more aggressive. I Gina. I hate the first spot, it’s awful! It’s the sacrificial lamb.
I spent a little bit too much time at starbucks for the last five hours and it’s fun over there. You know it’s fun like when you give your order, and sometimes they ask for your name. This morning I gave him my Hebrew name.
I was like I’ll have a decaf latte sure. Can I get your name yeah Eleazar Yaakov Ben [, __ ] she’s like um? Do you have a nickname or something? Well, my friends call me Jew bastard, I’m not writing that on the cup, sir, all right! Fine, then you could use my American Indian name puts nothing in tip jar. A minute later I hear one decaf latte for a Jew bastard.
I love the notion of writing a joke and then going up and telling it and it’s just that immediate Boom boom. No notes from idiot network people – and it was just like there is nothing like it, and every accident has a weird relationship to one letter like the Russians, the Russian access the letter Y. They take the letter Y and they put it between every other letter.
Take any sentence like this traffic is unbelievable, they’d be like dis. Traffic is unbelievable. I can’t have to be Olivia baby sitting here for 15 minutes, the Israeli accent they take M’s and put An option every other letter between every other word.
In my one thing, 3, i’m going to em get em dende and what he want a bag of. My name is what the hell are. You talking about comedy relief to me feels like playing hooky from school.
You just you can be funny. You could be the funny guy. The thing that’s different from all the rest of the straight stuff.
That’s going on. I’ve got my wife. I’ve got two little girls and two girl cats and me just like I dreamed of when I was a little boy.
I used to sit alone at night and think to myself. I can’t wait till I get rid of all my friends and just move into a house filled with girls, just a home filled with emotion, and I flashing mood tantrums and a hatred of everything I enjoy. It all comes from me, and you know my life, so every tyree place that I am and everything that I’m going through.
It kind of reflects that you know now, I’m I’m in the middle of being a new parent And living in New York City. It’s a little scary when they have nightmares. They come in the middle.
The night just stand at the foot of my bed. That’s terrifying! Cuz! They want to hear comforting things from their father, like you’ll, be okay, honey, but when you get woken up out of a dead sleep by a tiny screaming crying shadow person, your reaction is more like. What are you when you watch a really good, comic and he’s just being? It seems like he’s just Telling historians being natural and his jokes in there, whose jokes in all of it now she has two reasons to be afraid, one whatever weird dreams he had, and now the giant man and his underpants pinning her to the ground.
Leave my family alone, everything comes from stand-up, you know, being comedian is almost like getting your bachelor’s degree. Well, you can go off and do anything else after that that allowed to become writers. I’ve spent the past two years looking for my Ex-girlfriends killer, but no one will do it.
If my girlfriend now was great, my girlfriend now is awesome. If I had to nitpick, I say sometimes she’s like a little bit too sensitive. No, like the other day, she got her hair cut, got 2 inches, trimmed off of her hair and then came home and cried about it for two hours over a haircut.
I couldn’t believe it. Finally, I went to I said baby. What are you so upset about? It’s just a haircut, I’m the one.
That’s got to find a New girlfriend. I will work. You know for months to find a joke about breast cancer.
You know something that I can make people laugh at it’s the worst thing imaginable. That’s the challenge and that’s where you get that great tension with a laugh. It’s just this guttural.
You know you’ll want to laugh at it, but you have to do you guys have a good Father’s Day. Last weekend I enjoyed it. My uh, madam having a hard time lately, keeps on losing his keys.
You know Literally can’t hang on to a set of car keys to save his life and he has tried everything to a little hook next to the door. Little ball next to his bed. One of those key chains makes a noise when you whistle nothing worked so.
Finally, this year for Father’s Day, the whole family chipped in, and we put him in a home when they killed bin Laden. They found porn on his computers and I’m dying to know what he was watching, because I have to know if bin laden and I had – and he Crossover titles which would either make me really creepy or him a little cooler than I thought he was. He was in that shitty apartment.
He had no air conditioning on no cell phone, no internet connection, three wives, 23 children. You know who called the seals he did yeah. I know where bin Laden is he’s looking into a mirror.
Crying again he’s got three pmsing women. At the same time, I’ll give you the exact address, just promise to shoot wife number two. First
